Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Do not drift away

"We must pay close attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away." Hebrews 2:1

Precious Emmy and Boone,
I am sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by cereal boxes not yet in the recycling bin, folded laundry blanketing the living room and a sweet ray of sunshine warming these cold fingers. And I am filled with gratitude and joy. God has met with me this morning. He is sweet to do that. What is man that He should care for us? It is so humbling to know that the Creator God, the God who set ALL THINGS in motion, desires to have MY heart. He is jealous for my affections. He wants my mind to be set on Him. Because He knows NOTHING will satisfy me and give me joy like His unfathomable glory.

My sweet babies, this world is so loud. It's ridiculously easy to forget what is real and what is truth and what is life giving. Hebrews tells us to pay close attention to God's truth so we don't get swept away in the current of deception and evil and death. Does that sound a bit dramatic? It's not. "The thief comes only to STEAL and KILL and DESTROY; I have come that they may have LIFE, and have it to the full." John 10:10 That is not a taciturn statement. Nor shall our response be taciturn.

I am praying for you both this morning. I am so humbled by what God has called me to do next year. I am worried God sent the memo to the wrong gal. Teach my kids? At home? Be a kindergarten teacher? What? Don't you know me at all Lord? I'm pretty sure I'm not cut out for this job. No cute, organized, gentle, patient woman anywhere near this house. You both have tasted the bitterness of my sin many times: the bitterness of my anger, lack of self control, laziness.

And yet I'm your mama. And I love you so much it hurts. All. The. Time. Sometimes I have to walk myself off the ledge of panic and anxiety because my fear says you will be taken away by some horrible accident. I have to run into the arms of my sweet Jesus and let him remind me that he is real. And he cares. And he loves you both more than I do. In those times, in this moment, he reminds me we are more than conquerors in him. He reminds me his grace is sufficient. He blesses me with a peace that surpasses ALL understanding and a joy that is palpable. So, did he pick the wrong person for this mama job? Undeniably! Is he who he says he is? Absolutely. We have nothing to fear as we move into this unknown place of homeschooling and private school. As long as we all remember we are not enough, and He is more than enough, I think we're going to be ok.

And Daddy and I will start putting away money for your future counseling.

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